Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Floor Gal and The Man

Floor Gal here reporting from the floor of the Boston Garden. I'm filling in for Balcony Gal for a page while she recovers from shock associated with email interactions with The Man and his family members. TMRPD and her sister, The Man's Tennis Enabled Daughter, hereby referred to as TMTED, - she should put that on a license plate, maybe her very own Celtics license plate. Of course it would have to be a fake plate since the real ones haven't been issued yet (SO NOT BITTER) and it could stand for 'tempted to get a Celtics license plate' - well these gals emailed Balcony Gal to let her know that their Dad was one great guy. That and TMTED spent the first 18 years of her life going to as many Cs games as possible (SO NOT JEALOUS). As I've learned from being down here on the sidelines, most people feel the same way - The Man, he is great.

I've now met The Man and it's true, he's a great guy. He had a hug for me right away. He offered me Twizzlers, red, in case you care. I said no thank you. He offered me water. I took it cause that stuff is pricey in the Garden. He offered me beer but I refused because the last thing I needed was to get any more 'ahhduuhhh' in his presence and with my luck I would have spilled it on the court and caused KG or Rondo to wipe out.

He also offered me...

wait for it...

wait for it...

wait for it...

the chance to SIT IN HIS SEAT. Oh yes, you read that right. And what did I do? I turned him down. Well, I said no, let's wait till there's a break in play and then I'll sit, but he put on his 'The Man Voice' and before I knew it I was sitting in his seat. Oh and it's sure a comfy seat.

I sat amongst his friends. This is where I tell you they were handsome and witty and perfect company but I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I didn't even notice because I was watching the game. Plus Balcony Guy was WAY UP HERE watching everything so I didn't smile, didn't engage in conversation, didn't really enjoy myself at all. I felt so horrible about his being WAY UP HERE and my being WAY DOWN HERE that I couldn't settle in. I know those men are now thinking, "Why the hell did The Man waste our time and space with this woman?"

Oh, who am I kidding? FLIPPING FANTASTIC. To sit this close to the boys in green was amazing. To make eye contact with Big Baby (oh yeah, I saw you looking and I was looking right back) was thrilling. To be WAY DOWN HERE when they introduced Sam Cassell to the crowd and feel the energy at this lower altitude is beyond words. But I can find some words, I'm sure.

I jumped up and down beside The Man at the fully coherent introduction of Cassell. If only Blhhh Blhhh Bldrahhhnnn could have had that kind of introduction. You know, the kind where you actually hear the guys name? **this brings up a whole other issue with us Balcony Folks...is the sound better WAY DOWN THERE? Did you understand the introduction of Blhhh Blhhh Bldrahhhnnn? Are the rest of us missing out? **

It was a truly wonderful experience. The people I met were very kind and didn't judge me for being a balcony person. It was pointed out to me that the one period I sat in that seat cost more than my balcony seat. I had to point out that, at that price, the cost of those tickets for ONE GAME cost more than the price of my two seats for the WHOLE SEASON. *shivers*

The following is my list of questions that I would like to ask The Man. I didn't ask these questions because I met him just as game was getting into play again and, as much as I like observing what goes on around me, I'm really there to watch the game.

Questions I would like to ask The Man:
  1. How long have you had your tickets?
  2. Why did you have them during some crap years?
  3. How did your wife feel about you holding onto said tickets during said crap years?
  4. Do you wake up and realize you are one of the luckiest men alive? Does that make you smile?
  5. Do you make your employees call you The Man?
  6. During a game, who gives the best high fives?
  7. During a game, who gives the best hugs?
  8. When your 4 packets of shiny, beautiful tickets arrived did you jump up and down and dance around and perhaps cry a little and maybe get a little snotty and realize it's not cold season so there aren't enough tissues around but you have a dark shirt on so you can just use that to wipe your nose?
  9. Did you then maybe take pictures of the packets?
  10. Are your tickets hand delivered by Lucky instead of through some mail delivery system? If yes, does he flip around on the doorstep when you answer the door?
  11. Are you aware the Celtics Dancers have belly buttons?
  12. When watching an away game at home do you jump up and down?
What would you ask The Man?

I did find out why he's always wearing dark clothing. He told me this tale: Once upon a time he went out to dinner before a game with another man who has seats next to him. They had a wonderful time until The Man got sauce on his white shirt. It having been warm weather, The Man had no jacket and he spent the remainder of the evening in his courtside seat being a bit embarrassed about the stain on his shirt. Since then he has always worn dark clothing.

I invited him up to the Balcony where everyone has stains on their clothing.

Here is what my ticket looks like. Note the seating and the price:

Here is The Man's ticket. Note the seating and the price:

You'd think at that price he'd have a Fairy Godmother (they do so exist because Balcony Princess has one or two) swoop in and fix his shirt. I shall carry Fairy Dust with me to every game from now on and sprinkle it upon The Man if ever he gets another stain.

I love you shiny KG.


Kate said...

wow! dont get all slobbery on those pricy shiny tickets ;)

Suldog said...

Wow! It appears that Kevin Garnett plays in a different universe down there. Cool.

Kathy Howe said...

OMG...I can't stop laughing long enough to come up with a good comment!!! LMAO