BEST FRIDAY NIGHT EVER, Part Two

Friday night was rough. The world's worst foul call was made. The score went up and down and up and down and I'll be the first to say that up and down makes for a rough time. I'd tell you all about it but by now you'll have already seen it or read about it or heard about it. There really isn't much for me to say except WOOOO FRRRRRIIIIGGGINNNNN WHHHOOOOO.

Here's the Balcony Gal Pictorial:

We had a little party to watch the game. I gathered all of the special party glasses but the green glasses were a favorite.

I hired this great bartender. He showed up wearing a cape which was interesting, to say the least, but I was thrilled to discover he could mix a drink behind his back with his sword. Impressive.

My BFF was a hit at this party. I knew she'd never show up to watch hoops so I told her we'd be having a red carpet, private showing of the Sex and the City movie. She got all dressed up and prepped. I'm sure I'll pay for that little lie at some point but there is no denying she had a great time. There she is on the left next to Balcony Guy's BFF, then Balcony Guy and Me.

My BFF invited this pair, too, so they were a little over-dressed but they really enjoyed themselves. Turns out he loves tequila, too. Apparently she'd had an unfortunate accident with a dog about six months ago and wasn't really drinking. I interpreted that to mean she wasn't double fisting like I was.

One of the guys from the clean up crew came in toward the end of the game and cleaned out all of the red glasses since DeeTroit was no longer in the running.

Then the cleaning guy came back in with a bunch of yellow glasses. I didn't mind since a little rivalry is always good.

The bartender thought differently. He was all, "Beat LA!" and he poked the guy in the third eye with his sword.

My neighbor stopped in and was all, "Dude. Go LA!! Kobe is so going to make you wish you weren't even born." We made him a drink in a yellow glass.

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks. I'm excited to see the Celtics and LA go at it under the boards. Game One of the finals will find me sitting in my Balcony Seat with Balcony Guy. Think they'll let us sneak in our green glasses? Hopefully I'll have pictures to share next time. Meanwhile, GO CELTICS!

Am I Turning Into Donny Marshall?

NO, I am not becoming Mr. Marshall. Just like I am not Scot Pollard, I am not Donny Marshall (ladies, skip that bio and go here for some of the only internet pics I could find) but I could almost play him on TV. Or at least on the radio. I've taken to saying "again" in the midst of a conversation. Often. Like, A LOT.

To Balcony Princess: Again, you need to wash your hands after you potty.
To Balcony Baby: Again, you need to stop hitting your sister. Or at least stop laughing about it and pretend you're sorry.
To Balcony Memere: Again, thanks for Balcony Sitting the kids so Balcony Guy and I can trek in for another game. Again, there's mac and cheese for dinner.
To Balcony Guy: Again.

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I meant again, you can change a diaper or again, you can cook dinner. Really (Balcony Guy, refrain from commenting so these people who read this blog won't learn too much about us, k?).

In other Balcony News, I just completed our taxes tonight. I've been refraining from posting my Balcony antics until the taxes were completed. I don't know if I'm relieved or depressed that I owe the IRS more than the cost of my Balcony Seats for the 2008 NBA playoffs. This means that I may be done complaining about the cost of my seats for the playoffs since I'm now complaining about the large self employment tax I've been levied. Perhaps I can still convince the Celtics that they need some of these self employed services?

Dear Celtics Front Office,

I originally went to college for sports casting because I wanted to work around your organization. Well, things changed and I don't exactly do THAT. I do get paid to talk and, again, I apparently can talk like Donnie Marshall so maybe there's something there? You know, if he's sick, I can fill in.

OR, better yet, how about if I just become the yoga instructor for the Cs? I can probably get KG to add an eighth of an inch to his size. I can help Big baby lengthen those really nice muscles he has. I can help Tony Allen learn to trust himself and focus. Just that last one alone should get me in the door, no?

Call me. Again, my name is Balcony Gal.

Car Wash to Raise Money for Celtics Playoff Tickets

It's no secret that I'm working on ways to pay for my Celtics playoff tickets. I've tried to become a Celtics Dancer - they sent a lovely letter telling me to try again next year. Apparently my belly button isn't real enough for them. I've tried growing a ticket tree and I've almost put up a paypal button so people can just contribute already. I realized I was fresh out of ideas.

I needed the help of someone who could really care less about the Celtics. And let's face it, we all have many people in our lives who could care less. If it were the Red Sox I was talking about then the line of good pals would be down the block. But this is the Celtics. There are still only a handfull of us that care. Perhaps it's that there are only a handful of us that believe? Everyone else doesn't want to get their hopes up. But that's a post for another time since I don't want to discourage those of you who only come here for the pictures.

The person who came to my mind when I realized I had to fund raise was my Best Friend Forever. This is a gal who got 5 of her neighbors to fight over who would remove a skunk family from beneath her shed. She successfully raised money for a drumming scholarship to MIT for needy drummers (I know, what the heck is that about?). Last month she held a highly renowned book drive for her local library and was able to bring in thousands of old Mac and Windows manuals dating back to 1994. This is a gal who knows how to get things done.

So this weekend, while also pondering what goodies the Easter Bunny would be bringing to my house, I called my BFF on my awesome ME phone and she came right over. Remember, you can click on the pictures to get a bigger version. Then click the back button to come back here. I'm tired of getting emails about how you people clicked a photo then got lost in the World Wide Web.

We chilled in the hot tub, tossing back tequila in over-sized tea cups because my neighbors are really nosy and I'd much rather they think I'm a tea junky than a lush.

We decided to have a car wash. My BFF made a great sign and walked around attracting customers.

First in line to show his support was Balcony Guy with the Balcony Bus.

He was even so sweet as to bring me one of those great car wash Mitts. *Sigh* He is so supportive. Just look at him cheering me on.

He invited some friends to help out, too, and they were more than happy to be here to help their friend Balcony Guy get to the Celtics playoffs.

Here's his best bud helping out my best bud. So sweet.

I managed to get this shot of his undying gratitude. Don't you just love when the audio becomes visual?

Balcony Guy was key to getting the small cars washed in short order. He had a great time with most of the customers. This guy, however, was more interested in his PDA than in the handsome fellow cleaning his car.

We had positioned ourselves near a construction sight and we got lots of big trucks that way. I highly recommend this to anyone else considering a car wash.

Those big trucks take longer but the men sure do appreciate the work. They all took the time to shake my hand.


Unfortunately this one gal got the wrong idea. She had been hanging out in her man's dump truck and was she ever pissed. She totally jumped out and attacked me.

While this didn't thrill me, I did like earning a little extra for the impromptu wrestling match.

I'm proud to report that we earned enough cash to get through a couple of playoff games! I'm saddened to report that after treating our friends to dinner and drinks for their help and devotion, and having to get my hair and nails redone, we're almost back to square one. Guess it's time to come up with another fund raiser. Anyone have any thoughts?

Floor Gal and The Man

Floor Gal here reporting from the floor of the Boston Garden. I'm filling in for Balcony Gal for a page while she recovers from shock associated with email interactions with The Man and his family members. TMRPD and her sister, The Man's Tennis Enabled Daughter, hereby referred to as TMTED, - she should put that on a license plate, maybe her very own Celtics license plate. Of course it would have to be a fake plate since the real ones haven't been issued yet (SO NOT BITTER) and it could stand for 'tempted to get a Celtics license plate' - well these gals emailed Balcony Gal to let her know that their Dad was one great guy. That and TMTED spent the first 18 years of her life going to as many Cs games as possible (SO NOT JEALOUS). As I've learned from being down here on the sidelines, most people feel the same way - The Man, he is great.

I've now met The Man and it's true, he's a great guy. He had a hug for me right away. He offered me Twizzlers, red, in case you care. I said no thank you. He offered me water. I took it cause that stuff is pricey in the Garden. He offered me beer but I refused because the last thing I needed was to get any more 'ahhduuhhh' in his presence and with my luck I would have spilled it on the court and caused KG or Rondo to wipe out.

He also offered me...


wait for it...


wait for it...


wait for it...


the chance to SIT IN HIS SEAT. Oh yes, you read that right. And what did I do? I turned him down. Well, I said no, let's wait till there's a break in play and then I'll sit, but he put on his 'The Man Voice' and before I knew it I was sitting in his seat. Oh and it's sure a comfy seat.

I sat amongst his friends. This is where I tell you they were handsome and witty and perfect company but I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I didn't even notice because I was watching the game. Plus Balcony Guy was WAY UP HERE watching everything so I didn't smile, didn't engage in conversation, didn't really enjoy myself at all. I felt so horrible about his being WAY UP HERE and my being WAY DOWN HERE that I couldn't settle in. I know those men are now thinking, "Why the hell did The Man waste our time and space with this woman?"

Oh, who am I kidding? FLIPPING FANTASTIC. To sit this close to the boys in green was amazing. To make eye contact with Big Baby (oh yeah, I saw you looking and I was looking right back) was thrilling. To be WAY DOWN HERE when they introduced Sam Cassell to the crowd and feel the energy at this lower altitude is beyond words. But I can find some words, I'm sure.

I jumped up and down beside The Man at the fully coherent introduction of Cassell. If only Blhhh Blhhh Bldrahhhnnn could have had that kind of introduction. You know, the kind where you actually hear the guys name? **this brings up a whole other issue with us Balcony Folks...is the sound better WAY DOWN THERE? Did you understand the introduction of Blhhh Blhhh Bldrahhhnnn? Are the rest of us missing out? **

It was a truly wonderful experience. The people I met were very kind and didn't judge me for being a balcony person. It was pointed out to me that the one period I sat in that seat cost more than my balcony seat. I had to point out that, at that price, the cost of those tickets for ONE GAME cost more than the price of my two seats for the WHOLE SEASON. *shivers*


The following is my list of questions that I would like to ask The Man. I didn't ask these questions because I met him just as game was getting into play again and, as much as I like observing what goes on around me, I'm really there to watch the game.

Questions I would like to ask The Man:

1. How long have you had your tickets?
2. Why did you have them during some crap years?
3. How did your wife feel about you holding onto said tickets during said crap years?
4. Do you wake up and realize you are one of the luckiest men alive? Does that make you smile?
   
5. Do you make your employees call you The Man?
6. During a game, who gives the best high fives?
7. During a game, who gives the best hugs?
8. When your 4 packets of shiny, beautiful tickets arrived did you jump up and down and dance around and perhaps cry a little and maybe get a little snotty and realize it's not cold season so there aren't enough tissues around but you have a dark shirt on so you can just use that to wipe your nose?
   
9. Did you then maybe take pictures of the packets?
   
10. Are your tickets hand delivered by Lucky instead of through some mail delivery system? If yes, does he flip around on the doorstep when you answer the door?
    
11. Are you aware the Celtics Dancers have belly buttons?
    
12. When watching an away game at home do you jump up and down?
    

What would you ask The Man?

I did find out why he's always wearing dark clothing. He told me this tale: Once upon a time he went out to dinner before a game with another man who has seats next to him. They had a wonderful time until The Man got sauce on his white shirt. It having been warm weather, The Man had no jacket and he spent the remainder of the evening in his courtside seat being a bit embarrassed about the stain on his shirt. Since then he has always worn dark clothing.

I invited him up to the Balcony where everyone has stains on their clothing.

Here is what my ticket looks like. Note the seating and the price:

Here is The Man's ticket. Note the seating and the price:

You'd think at that price he'd have a Fairy Godmother (they do so exist because Balcony Princess has one or two) swoop in and fix his shirt. I shall carry Fairy Dust with me to every game from now on and sprinkle it upon The Man if ever he gets another stain.

I love you shiny KG.

Another Attempt at Raising Money for My Celtics Playoff Tickets

Oh, have I been an industrious little Balcony Gal. I've been racking my brain for weeks now to come up with the best plan to raise money for my Balcony Seats during the Playoffs. I've gotten emails in regards to things I should try but most of them aren't appropriate to post here *blushes*.

Balcony Guy and I thought long and hard and came to the realization that we should sell a few of our regular season tickets. Oh, before you think we're doing something underhanded, take a deep breath. We sell them to friends at face value. You want a chance to get a pair of these babies? Then you've got to prove your friendship and have a love for the boys in Green. You don't have to send me bottles of my favorite tequila (Milagro Anejo). You don't have to purchase a weekend getaway for me at Kripalu. You don't have to send the Balcony Girls gifts. You don't even have to beg me to put a paypal button here so you can donate $2.75 toward the cause. I can't be bought that easily. I gave up being easy years ago. (what, did she just say that?)

So in a move to beat all moves, we sold tickets to the Wednesday night game against the Pistons. Well, we didn't exactly sell them. I traded them. I set out to sell them but some guy from a well known Celtics blog site convinced me that I should trade them for some magic seeds. I brought them home and Balcony Guy was a bit upset, to say the least, but once I let him rub my feet he turned around and agreed this could be a good thing.

I got to work planting the seeds last night.



It was a lot of work so I did take a break at one point. Notice how I'm still happy and gesticulating in the only way I know how.



And then I went to bed and awoke to one of the most beautiful sites in the world. No, it wasn't a money tree. It was a TICKET TREE! OHhhhh. MYyyyy. GAwwddddd. Celtics tickets. And they were EVERYWHERE on this tree.

I had no idea it was really possible. Celtics Tickets on a tree. Right there in my bedroom. And not only does the tree grow tickets, it also grows clothes pins. How friggin' handy is THAT?


OH this is just too damn exciting. I can sell all of these tickets and that would help defray all costs of attending the Celtics Playoffs. Wooo hooooo. Could there be anything better right now? Oh yes, there can. There's another tree. That poor sucker from the well known Celtics blog gave me seeds for another tree. It has balls. It sprouts balls. It grows balls. A damn ballsy tree.



But I must stop here and leave the Ball Tree for another post. I'm just too tired from harvesting the fruits from the Celtics Ticket Tree. It's not easy raising money.

Celtics Playoff Tickets

I'm not even going to talk about the past three games. I'm going to hold my head up and look ahead. To the playoffs! I hadn't been thinking about them but then this came in the mail today (see picture over there on the left).

OH BOY! The adrenaline as I was tearing that big envelope open, I tell you, was flowing fast and furious. My heart was pounding. I was probably giggling. What a thrill! Then I saw the prices.

See, this is how it works for those of you dying to know. You buy your season tickets through the Celtics office. Oh, and in case you want to get yours for next season you can contact Ryan de La Bruere (don't try to pronounce it...just ask for Ryan) at 617-854-8014. Tell him Balcony Gal sent you and maybe he'll stop by my seat with a hot dog coupon. Really, those are good hot dogs.

So anyway, you buy your seats and then they are yours for the whole season. YOURS. It feels so good. Even if you only have half season tickets (like us) no one else can claim your seats. And when the playoffs role around, you get first dibs on YOUR seats. Mmm hmmm. We now have dibs on our seats. Will we take them? Will we commit? We're required to pay for the first two rounds up front then we can pay for the next two rounds probably the week after, or something like that.

I won't hold you in suspense: OF COURSE we'll take them. But man, is it a hit to the wallet or what?

Balcony Gal: Um, ouch. That's a lot of money.
Balcony Guy: Wow, that's totally reasonable.
Balcony Gal: Um, we're going to have to come up with that money.
Balcony Guy: No problem. You can take on a few extra projects. [because, you know, extra freelance projects fall from the sky whenever money is needed]
Balcony Gal: [because I don't want to give up the chance to see the playoffs] Of course I can!

Balcony Gal and Balcony Guy then dance around the kitchen. Probably giggling. The End.

Except it's not the end because now I need to find extra projects. Maybe I'll just audition for the Celtics Dancers? Of course, I'll have to get rid of the Pollard Hair. And maybe learn to dance. And I may offend that woman who thinks the dancers are pornesque. Damn. Stay tuned for the plan.

I Am Not Scot Pollard

All of the pictures in this post were taken by me, Balcony Gal. I hope you like them. In case you didn't know, you can click on them to make them larger. It's very exciting.

I love my Balcony seats. I enjoy MOST of the people around me. Like the guys in front and the ones just to my left. There is a guy who sits in front of me who often comes with his pretty wife. This guy is really smiley and happy and loves that he's a Balcony Person. He even had these seats last season when, well, we all wondered why we had seats. I'd like you to meet Super Nice, Really Smiley Guy:


I enjoy the Celtics Dancers. I didn't enjoy them last season when their moves were rough and the only thing in sync was the music. Really, I wanted to like them but it was tough to watch. And then this season they broke through. They got it together. And it's fun to not only watch them but to listen to the men around me who are sitting with their men friends and talking about the girls. And constantly look at their pictures. Notice here is not just one guy looking but two. They weren't the only ones but I couldn't get everyone in the same shot.


When Rondo was poked in the eye with 1:57 left in the 4th by Fred "Pokey McPokster" Jones I thought he was going out. It looked like another of our good men was going down. But after Pierce knighted him Sir Rondo The Great Gaurd he rallied with blurry vision.


We got a pleasant surprise at this game. On the drive in, while stuck in the traffic (see previous post), we got a call from our friends . They scored tickets from work and wanted to see us. YIPPEE. We love these friends and don't get to see them often enough. When we finally made it to our seats we got to be THOSE people and called the friends on the horn and said "we're here." Then we waved like fools and pointed and waved some more. Then the guy friend popped over for a quick visit. It was a warm and fuzzy time.

And now the moment we've all been waiting for. This is where I talk about Scot Pollard. I like Pollard. He makes me laugh when he does those little TV skit thingies. And his hair makes me laugh, too.

I didn't have the white headband. All I could find was the black one I use when I wash my face. And I couldn't decide where best in the house to take the picture so I have at least 40 versions. Should I even admit that? This is not a proud moment for me but it was too good not to share. This is not a look I recommend.

I will not wear it on a plane. I will not wear it on a train. I will not wear it here or there. I will not wear it anywhere. No, Scot Pollard, I will not wear your hair.

The end.

40-9

Doesn't that record have a beautiful ring to it? Ahhh, say it ten times fast - fourty to nine - and you still won't be able to stop smiling. Way to go, Celtics!

And now for some more reviews. Still not sure what to get your valentine? Been jilted by a Knicks fan? Then it's time for one of these.

Or looking to make yourself feel great and get people thinking? Then go for one of these.

Know of a Cs fan with a kidlette? Then you certainly need to grab one of these. It's only $9.99 and sure to make that kid even cuter. Of course it can also be used as a gift for that person you just broke up with. All you need is one of those bib extenders. I just tried to find one online and came up empty so get yourself to the fabric store and pick up some Velcro. You'll figure it out.

There's one more shirt worth checking out. OK, there are many shirts there worth checking out but this one below can't go unmentioned. You can pick one of these up for yourself if you're feeling cheeky. Or, guys, this is a much better option than the thong. We gals can buy our own under garments thank-you-very-much. But this shirt, which you'll no doubt smile at for a gazillion different reasons when you look at it, is a much better investment. Think of it this way: you don't want your gal walking around showing everyone her sexy underwear. Got it?
Balcony Guy and I aren't into celebrating Valentine's day. It's just one of those things we didn't feel we needed to buy in to (read: cheap and mushy all year long). We'll celebrate with the Balcony Gals this year because the oldest is old enough to understand and she likes pink.

Oh, and tonight is date night anyway. We'll be sitting in our Balcony Seats cheering on our boys in green. GO Cs!! What are you doing tonight? And for Valentine's day? Share.